Empathy is the skill of understanding and recognizing others' feelings and perspectives. It is also a character trait of highly effective leaders. That requires “active listening” — truly engaging with what the other person has to say without giving in to the many distractions that surround us today — which allows us to connect and be more effective communicators.

“Good listening is much more than being silent while the other person talks," according to Harvard Business Review, We tend to imagine that the key to good listening is simply staying quiet while the other person speaks. But there’s so much more that’s involved. In fact, there are four very specific actions that can improve the way you engage with others in conversation.

First, focus on being present and removing the distractions around you, especially technology. If you want to be completely present in the conversation, your phone has to be out of reach and out of the context of the conversation. Focus on what the person is saying, not on internal dialog and especially not on any other external distractions. "The Road Less Traveled" author M. Scott Peck wisely shares: “You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time."

Next, ask effective, open-ended questions, and probe so understanding is achieved. A good listener should not be thought of as a sponge — absorbing everything but providing little feedback. Instead, they should be thought of as a trampoline that amplifies and supports a conversation partner’s thoughts through valuable feedback and reflection.

Third, learn to embrace silence. We have a tendency to fill the awkward silence with unproductive conversation just because silence makes us uncomfortable. Instead of resorting to this, give people time to think and don’t give in to the temptation to potentially change the course of a productive and meaningful dialogue. You may be surprised with the direction of the conversation if you give it time to breathe.

Finally, circle back after a tough conversation to check in. This allows you to strengthen your rapport, and it also signals to the other person that you were present and that what they shared resonated in a meaningful way. This is particularly important if you engaged in a conversation where someone was vulnerable about a topic that is close to their heart. Checking back in to see how they’re doing will give you the opportunity to build trust and strengthen relationships.

Being able to listen effectively is a skill that must be learned and practiced. This week, I invite you to give someone the gift of feeling seen, heard, and understood by engaging through “active listening.”

Ryan Estis helps progressive companies embrace change, attack opportunity and achieve the next level of breakthrough performance. Learn more or check his fees and availability here.